so i'm in the middle of midterms, and what better time is there to update? the desperate hunt for distraction continues as i do everything in my power to avoid studying...thank God i created a blog. three of my teachers are gems, though one does not have quite the same magnetic pull to be around her any time she hands out papers or comes to check on your work as the wind flow gently yet oh so surely confidently blows her beloved B.O. into my awaiting nostrils. among many perks, that is one downfall of having a hippy for a teacher. the fourth teacher. i've only gotten in three fights with her so far. no big deal. i can handle this. my native tongue or not, i will bring her down. shes lit my fire and i'll be damned if i dont let it burn. everything would be fine if she wasnt a prideful hypocrite that can never admit she is wrong or just accept the fact that i am not, in fact, a native to spain. like c'mon if you hate Americans then what the hell are you doing spending all your time with them for a living. and sorry, but my inability to speak your language with fluidity will not stop me from calling you out and standing for what i know you're wrong about, or at least from speaking my mind. lord have mercy on her soul-less body. she gives us these packets to study from and at the beginning of the semester she told us the parts with the ''i'' next to them we didn't have to know for the test, and it was just extra information. so one day as we were reading it, i was clarifying that we did not need to memorize it, and for God knows why, that set her off. (Could have been because the last time i said something to her i wasn't exactly complimenting her on her blouse. but thats beside the point) she went off on some rage about how "you americans'' only ever care about whats on the test, but here in spain we actually learn AND do well on the tests. i said "oh really? your ears are huge"
great. now im gonna wake up with big ears tomorrow.
i really do love it here. i am aware of and learning things that i would never have imagined--not necessarily because they are so incredible and extravagant, but because i just had a bit of an idea of things i would or would not get out of this year. i love the mystery of it--in this case, at least.
a few weekends ago me and some friends got the chance to get over to the beach--aaaaamaaaazzziinnnggg. we went to Nerja, on the costa del sol in Malaga, and it was absolutely gorgeous. id spend any day on the beach as it is, but there was something so breath-taking about this one. whether it was because i hadnt been to the beach in a while, i saw a new end of land that my eyes had never touched before, or because this one was truly spectacular, i will forever have its images vividly painted in my memories. unfortunately, among those vivid memories, are bare old lady teets sadly hanging to her knees, too-tight old man banana hammocks, and other not-so-pleasant memories. apparently nude beaches have no age or body shape requirements. the old, the ancient, the foreign, the HUGE, the hanging, the hairy, the wrinkly, the disturbing....all included.
id say im getting fairly used to the way of life here...the rude and pushy yet lovable Europeans, the endless amounts of dogs roaming the streets, all a different breed, and all of which i pet like my own. im sure i have every kind of herpes by now. its been raining here quite a bit more than normal for Granada...although i often mistake a raindrop for someone watering their plants above my head or a puddle of dog piddle i have stepped in that has splashed up on my face. which is always a pleasant surprise. always. i moved pisos, so i no longer have to listen to my neighbor talk about how her arm hurts from falling, which im sorry but the image of that is just too funny. you gotta see this lady. every time she tells me its as if its the first time--how many more times can you come up with a story, senora? cut your 12-inch toenails and maybe you won't trip over them anymore. no one knows why, but i always seem like a good person to ask for directions from....little do they know i cant even figure out a street name in my own country in my own language....but somehow it always works out and they seem to think i have told them the right thing. once a french lady came up to me and was asking me where she was on her map in half french, and half spanish...i said "shave your legs. " and once, a BUS DRIVER even asked me how to get somewhere.... a bus driver? public transportation officer? like come on isn't that your job? you get paid for these things, senor. no one knows how i understood him, and why i knew the answer.
speaking of public transportation, when i was on the bus the other day, it was quite crowded and people just kept pouring on. the lady standing next to me was in quite a bad mood-i could tell from her flared nostrils (you could have made a fur coat out of all her nostril hair) and her snooty stance. she kept giving me dirty looks as if i was the cause of her discomfort. i said i know my arse is huge and takes up a lot of space, but at least it stopped moving after the bumps were over. more than what your stomach can say. so as she got pushed more and more, and hence aggravated, she decided she would rudely lean up against the seat someone was sitting on . well when the back doors opened, due to her current position, she got slammed back by the doors, and smashed in between them and the pole. funniest damn thing i have ever seen. im sorry, but could it have been any more perfect? serves her right. hahaha if only you could have seen it. the face she made. ohh i'll never forget it.
i really love my new piso. its so peaceful now without the arab moaning i mean music. it was getting a little out of hand at my middle-eastern convention center. i tried, thought it was where God wanted me, but each day that passed took that thought from my head more and more. and at my new place, i dont have to do some weird contorted dance move to get to the toilet without taking the corner of the sink to my rib. such luxury.
the blessings i have had with this unreal opportunity are already numerous and it hasnt even been 3 months. although it is so hard to be away from my friends and family and what is comfortable and familiar, i could not imagine being one of the students only here for a semester and going home in 4 weeks. there is too much to take in. my life has accelerated in ways i can't explain, and i have a new zest for life and learning that i am not willing to give up. not that leaving spain would change any of that, it has just put me in a place i would not have gotten to without being put in the situations i have had to deal with. i have found a completely new personal meaning to prayer. God has come through and through, just when i think there is no way out, no change, no renewal. no matter what, i know the path or plans in my head mean nothing without the divine intervention that life can so desperately require. God is so much bigger than i tend to give him credit for, and he has revealed that to me in an unexpected faith-building way. two words: earnest heart.

besos

i love and miss you all

Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind. ~Seneca

missing grandma...

My Angel

You were always there to bake some cookies or play, no beat me, in a game of checkers

You never failed to far surpass your duties like knitting my school sweaters

Your method of breaking up a fight between me, my sister, or brother

Was always simple—“have some fudge, just please don’t tell your mother”

The lessons you taught me about life and others I will always know

And don’t worry, I will never forget to collect my 200 dollars whenever I pass Go

I’ve never lost someone so close to me, but at least now I am assured

That I will never go hungry in heaven, and when I get there I will hear a welcoming call of “Hey Sug!”

Whether it be Christmas, graduation, Thanksgiving or a dance recital,

The presence of a grandma like you was, to say the least, vital

You’re no longer here in your physical form but your presence we will always feel

Because the lives you changed and hearts you touched we know were done so for real

Your tender heart and spirit of compassion was not only evident in your own life

But poured out into those you cared for to ease and end so much of others’ strife

You were always eager as we dragged you and Grandpa out to see our forts down by your stream

Because for us city kids a yard like yours to play in was quite the dream

On your behalf, whenever I’m asked if I have completed a marathon I can confidently say

“Why yes, I went shopping with Grandma the morning after Thanksgiving day”

You’ve left me with many memories and an endless supply of scarves

But most importantly I have all the priceless lessons you taught me that will forever fill my heart

God let me borrow you for all things a girl might need a grandma for

But now He took you back so you could be in peace and harmony, singing with the angels forevermore

When thinking of you being gone, it’s hard to not ask God “Why?”

But I know it’s because your job down here is done, and it was time for you to join Him in all His beauty beyond the sky

Whenever I played dress up, your shoes were too big; I always thought my feet would grow big enough but they never will

And clearly so, because the footsteps you left and the shoes you wore no one can ever fill

But don’t worry Grandma, we will take care of each other and listen to all you said

We will always have water in the car, give all glory to God, and of course keep Grandpa fed

As one of your only three grandchildren I am eternally thankful

That I was blessed with your attention and could be selfishly joyful

They say light from space can be seen for years, even the light from a small star

But the impact you had goes beyond that distance; besides, your soul is hardly that far

I could go on and on about all you’ve done and what you meant to me

But words cannot express nor can people explain, the world will just have to see

Because a woman like you does not go quietly or without a bang

You have left this world a better place, one with an undeniable change

So for now I say, “see you soon” and with this poem try to carry on

The legend you have only begun, because to me, you will never be gone

And now that you are dancing with Jesus and looking down from up above

I hope you see the legacy you left of pure, honest, and unconditional love

Now each day I face whether soon or in years to come and I find myself in a tangle

I will look to your example to follow and hold you close, because you always have been, and always will be my ANGEL